It may have seemed at my age that my voice had been heard many times and possibly many times more than it should have….but for the first time in a very long time, only a handful of times before, the voice that mattered awoke!
This may sound nonsensical, but it was reality.
Through the years, though I hate to admit it, I have at times snapped, lashed out, become loud, a bit crazy at times making a point, defending myself, defending others, sometimes with a sense of validity sometimes unnecessarily.
When you are not sure who you are, who you are wanting to be, who God wants you to be you might, like I did, react loudly!
So how can I say my voice had been asleep, in hibernation?
How could something awaken that seemed to be quite awake already?
Roaring, voracious, possibly victimizing…
When you’ve spent your life hiding behind others, inside of yourself, trying to overcome or compensate for seemingly, unfair or harsh circumstances you may speak but its not necessarily who you are, its not what you want to say, its not the message that you know you were placed here to relay. Its not always your true voice the way God intended.
You seek, you search, you try and try again to speak life to yourself, to others and after a long journey, not worthless by any means but again not what I believe God intended, something happens.
Let me pause here to say – I am blessed that while finding my voice God didn’t give up on me.
Peace doesn’t just come, calm is only learned after going through the storm. Unless you are one of the rare that are born cool, calm, and collected and are there really any of those? For how can you truly appreciate peace and calm to the fullest extent unless you’ve come through the storm. This is where the longed for voice begins to be found.
The voice….you finally wake up one day and there it is. It is sane. It is calm and reasonable, it is honest and true to who you really are.
It is with purpose, it is with intent. It is calculated in a positive way. It is spoken with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Not one word more nor one word less than necessary to convey the message, the message that has been within you all along.
The message of Hope, of Love, of Light! The message of Jesus!!!
There will be many opportunities in many different ways in just the right words to bring the message.
This voice awakened will now be effective.
As this voice is aroused from it’s slumber there is now no need for volume, intensity, rage, question or doubt.
It is the voice awoken, a voice who knows who she is. Who’s she is!
Heavenly Father I give you thanks and praise that you give us a voice free from condemnation against ourselves, against others. I pray that you protect these voices from the one that would take them hostage, subduing and then substituting them with a false voice to inflict harm or instilling fear, in turn, silencing them from sharing your word. May our voices be made and kept pure for your purpose only. Kind, considerate, loving and true. In Jesus sweet but mighty name!